does your mom think i'm crazy? i just realized i played both the gay dad and the ex-jew card tonight. i blame the wine
carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
Randomize
