Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
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