I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
Randomize
