oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
Why are your pants in the freezer?
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
