Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
Randomize
