so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
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