It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
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