you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
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