You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Randomize
