I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
Randomize
