it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
Randomize
