Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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