I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
