hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
