Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
Randomize
