Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
you win again, gameday.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
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