Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
Randomize
