You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize
