Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
Randomize
