9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
