does your mom think i'm crazy? i just realized i played both the gay dad and the ex-jew card tonight. i blame the wine
True but thats because hes a fetus.
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
Randomize
