Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
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