Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
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