It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
Side note: I apologize for sex being the subject of every single one of my texts. That's what happens when you date an older man who constantly denies you sex on the basis of his ridiculous morals.
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
