when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
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