$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Randomize
