Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize
