my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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