Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
Randomize
