No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
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