He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
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