I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
A bitchslap is in order.
Randomize
