I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
I just came so hard I farted. Twice. Thank God I'm alone.
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
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