wat bout pragnant strippers??
I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
Randomize
