How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
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