I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
you told grandpa to call you daddy
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
Randomize
