I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
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