this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
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