this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
Randomize
