I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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