The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
