Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
I never want to see another naked old woman again.
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
Randomize
