its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
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