I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
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