White coat. Heels.
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
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