yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
they're like a gay fantastic four
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
Randomize
