Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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