Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
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