i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
