How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
